I say that a lot. "Let's unpack that." Birth is not just about birth. It's an intense, transformative experience. You begin the journey as one person and end it a completely different person. Intense and transformative experiences have the potential to bring up STUFF. It might be trauma from your past, old wounds that haven't healed, engrained behavior patterns. Your response to labor and birth may not even be about labor and birth, but rather a behavior pattern that is a response from the past. I saw a quote once that read, "We are only as old as our earliest trauma." WOW! From the first time we were ever hurt, disciplined, scared, felt fear or pain or sadness, we responded a certain way, and now that is the way we always respond. As an adult, the way we respond to trauma is directly related to how that hurt, scared, little person felt the first time they felt this way. That's heavy.
So let's unpack all the things. As a birth doula, I don't expect that my client's open up about every detail of their past. If they want to, I listen and allow. I do encourage them to explore this idea of unpacking. Birth has a way of spilling everything out onto the table. Let's spill it now, rather than in the throes of labor. Unpack. Take inventory. Purge. Get rid of the things that are no longer serving you. Address the things that have been pushed to the bottom. And then put it back again. Only this time, there's less stuff. It's more organized. It's not as scary. You know what's in there and you're equipped next time it surfaces, because you've done the work.
It's not just for the past. We can also unpack anything in our current day to day life that limits us, keeps us playing small, keeps us in low vibes- fear, worry, and anxiety . Since we're mostly talking about birth though, what are your feelings surrounding the birth itself? What are your values and personal beliefs about birth? Where do those beliefs come from- inside yourself or external influences? Do you react or respond (there's a difference)? And is it from a place of fear or love? Are those sources valid, do you trust that it's true and accurate for you? How can you transform that constricting energy of fear into a the more productive, expansive energy of love?
I don't have children myself, but my own life experiences, traumas, lessons, have pretty well shaped me and taught me the gifts that I'm proud to wear on my sleeve and share with my clients. Compassion. Grace. Understanding. Strength. Wisdom. All of this already exists within us. We need the mess to bring it out of us. The mess shows us our truth. Welcome the mess. Surrender to the mess.
What will you unpack? Let's chat!